just the 22 no. @ {11:02 PM}
I MISS YOU; :]
i want to let out all my feelings for you coz i sometimes wonder whether i am being noticed for how much i love you and feel abt you. Remember the lines that go: "And I'm aware...I'm in love but you don't care?" yup!, you guessed it, my binding theme for this entry. honestly, i was quite hesitant to write about this because i feel quite strongly about the said lines. i didn't want to trash it or do it such vile injustice. but i also thought a lot of people would more or less relate to this topic because i guess at some point they had once "loved" a person who seemed to be utterly clueless and oblivious to the his or her affection. the one-sided phenomenon. when you think you've fallen for someone, the only thing that seems to matter is for that person to approximately reciprocate the way you feel for him or her. you make that person like you. but sometimes that making-him-like-me process can be so excruciating! it's always a load of mind games and the over-analysis of things. especially if you're like me who tends to shred everything into bits, every minute detail, nothing is spared. i view this so-called process as a challenge but sometimes, challenges aren't so fun anymore when the goal is too out of sight and out of reach. it's like quicksand. the more you struggle, the more you sink. it's standing on shaky ground, or in this case, no ground at all. no one's going to catch you. maybe it's only for the stalwart-hearted and the strong-willed soul.
but in end, who enjoys pursuing someone who doesn't seem to give a damn? who enjoys being hurt all too often? we reach a point where self-love enters the picture. we could choose to continue but we know we shouldn't. maybe it's time to realize that not everything goes the way we it to regardless of how persistent we are. its up to you if you want to be with me.but i really love you. your happiness will be my happiness. and i respect your decisions. as you noe, relationships can't be forced. i think its important to have looks to some extent but its what inside me which people get to see and that’s what makes someone popular or unpopular. so i think its not the looks in my case, but its my character as a person, which has earned me the respect of the people at large in some extent. maybe you are right. maybe there's nothing between us. and even if there is, it will go away. life moves on. maybe you and me could have been something, maybe not. but we will never find out if you don't give it a chance. i want to give our friendship a new meaning. i just need trust and faith. and you could be that person whom i can trust alot and understand me.
you bring out the best in me like no one else can do.
that's why i love you.
